Saturday, November 27

The "Eco-unfriendly" encyclopedia

Hello everyone.. not much delay this time (only one month).. I'm back with some "stuff"..

Today, I saw this board in my office wash room.. it says "We are Eco-friendly organization, please co-operate in this regard". Well, I see that board everyday, but today I was rather observant. I see many individuals, organizations, companies, industries, factories claiming themselves as "Eco-friendly" (btw I still cannot figure out how factories can be eco-friendly). This eco-friendly fanaticism is becoming much popular lately.

Now, facts aside.. It just occurred to me today if there's any organization which claims itself as "Eco-unfriendly".. This hypothetical organization says "We are Eco-unfriendly, we hate the Eco, Eco's totally uncool, The last person with whom we make friends is Eco". And what might their wash room boards read? "Use the toilet paper as much as you want, We have lots of bamboo around" or "One paper might not meet the requirement, think again.. With a shit-smelling ass on your back, saving trees is not really your problem right now" or "Couldn't solve the su-do-ku on this square? Try another puzzle on the on-coming toilet paper, we have 4 difficulty levels".

And in the printer room, something like "We encourage one-sided printing, We actually regret why HP made two-sided printers and micro-printing machines".. on the paper-boxes "I'm desperate, use me pleeez". And in the email signatures, "Never think twice before printing this e-mail. Have printing problems? Click here" or "Our organization is committed to the best practices in order to become the biggest customer for paper industry"

In this "Eco-unfriendly" organization, every goddamn notification would come as paper circulars with people delivering them to each employee. And there would be much clarity if the circulars have captions like "Our vision 2012 is to hire the largest facilities staff in the business" or "Take a photocopy and share this with your colleagues, A combo of HP photocopier and paper really makes life simple". Also, PPTs won't be much encouraged, and chart presentations would be applauded saying "Why Ctrl+C, Ctrl+V when you can write and draw?" or "Use your hands, buddy.. Ask for marker pens and charts, we have the largest facilities staff in the business to serve you"

Now, enough with this hypothetical stuff, let's speculate what if some companies we have in the business now start this "Eco-unfriendliness".. Kimberly-Clark would start making "120 GSM toilet-paper" and "Executive-bond toilet-paper" with captions like "Loo-paper for the executives, comes with an executive touch" or "Thicker, cleaner, much better and lasts longer". Microsoft would have to give MS Office free with Windows as no office buys the software. Adobe can stop its work on Acrobat reader. 

Wonder what would happen if Wikipedia goes "Eco-unfriendly"!! I think after that, some final surviving pieces of bamboo would be kept in museums under the "fossils" section..

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